Criteria

I started this song late Saturday night, two days ago, after everyone else had went to bed. Earlier that Saturday, in the afternoon, I had started another song, titled Face To the Name. It is not ready for this blog, but it is pretty good I think... Face to the Name is a so-called "serious" relationship song, and after wrangling with it for a while, I was ready for some lightheartedness. Criteria became alive very quickly. It is thematically about my relationships with girls but fun, poppy and major-chord driven. Anyway, here is the words:

I went out with a girl with the same name as my mom
I went out with a girl with the same name as my sister
I went out with a girl with the same name as my dad

And I dunno what to do
I just can't choose
If my growing criteria
Makes it hard to do
I mean, what if she has hysteria
I'll have to get outta there

I went out with a girl with the same name as my grandma
I went out with a girl with the same name as my grandpa
I went out with a girl with the same name as my dog

And I dunno what to do
I just can't choose
If my growing criteria
Makes it hard to do
I mean, what if she has hysteria
I'll have to get outta there

I'm too picky these days
And too tired for the games
I know I'm kinda lame
But some cool lady must at least find me OK

And I dunno what to do
I just can't choose
If my growing criteria
Makes it hard to do
I mean, what if she has hysteria
Or she has malaria
Or always swearin', yeah
Or likes drama
Or drinks cola
Or has no aura
Or had head trauma
Or has paranoia
Or has the same name as my grandpa
I'll have to get outta there
I'll have to get outta there
I'll have to get outta there

I feel like that, as I have gotten older, I have gotten a better sense of what I would like in a woman. When I was was younger I couldn't have truthfully answered the question, "what kind of girl do you like?" I didn't really know. However, paradoxically, while discovering what exactly I like and desire in a woman, I might have narrowed it down to the point where I might never find one. I don't know if that is true or not, to tell you the truth. But the idea has crossed my head, obviously.

Incidentally, when I read the lyrics, I can't help but think of Seinfeld and how he always picked the stupidest things to break up over. Am I like Seinfeld? For further incidentals, I have never dated anyone with the same name as my mom, dad, sisters, grandma, grandpa, or dog. But I could...my dad's name is Kelly and my grandpa's name is Joe. I don't have a dog.